Live and Let Live

WELCOMING 2012 !

2012-01-04T14:40:00.001+05:30

WOW another New Year ! seems by the time we settle into 2012 it will be time to bid it adieu.

A good suggestion would be to make 5 year calendars going forward, time is really fleeting …..its a hassle to change calendars every year now :)

As I look back 2011 charmed in its own way got to learn so much, earn and grow. Each year has its own flavor. For me 2011 was leveler in more than one way. It gave me opportunities to travel and do stuff I really wanted to do. So my heartfelt thanks to the Supreme power for enabling me do what I wished.

2012, have made my New year resolutions and usually I do not break them :)

Its more courageous to lead life without a plan as is, on a day to day basis being fully aware of time passing. Sometimes hard work and planning does not get one anywhere. Where to go from there? Well experienced inform hang on, have patience… and do not lose the dream in your eyes, persevere. Keep it going, hold it fresh in your eyes and some day your dream shall see the light of day.

Happy New Year to one and all !!!!! May the New Year fulfill all our dreams :)) Hope is it a friend or foe :) i wonder..........

Life draws you to itself in so many ways….

2011-12-20T12:59:00.003+05:30

Well I have a 11 year old nephew who is visiting us currently. He lives in a different city and he is one source I turn to in order to liven up. I call him often and throw random requests or questions waiting to relish his responses and creativity. This exercise has a magical rejuvenating effect on me.

This fellow created a fictitious profile on Facebook and sent me an invitation. The intent was to play the games on FB and the rule was only his close friends and family would become his friends. I am no good at games and I would hear him talk to my sister in law who also plays discussing his scores and how he was ahead of her etc.

Every now and then he would come back to tell me that he had won an apartment and had to buy furniture and so had to earn more gold coins etc. My only ask of him was that when he bought a house he names it after me so that the world knows he loves me and only then will I start playing these games with him. He used to always put it away saying he could not do it, that was not allowed.

Couple of months ago I got another FB request from him from another account he created and he jokingly told me that this time I should accept his request and that he would name his empire after me. I accepted the request with complete faith that again this fellow was taking me on a ride. But guess what yesterday my sister in law was playing with him and told me you know what he has named his empire “Aunt Jyoti empire”. He told me "well maasi I was waiting for you to join the game because I have named it after you when my friends name their empires as “Achilles” or what not.” He said he named it 2 months ago hoping I will now start playing with him.

Welllllll was really touched and hugged and kissed and now am compelled to enter and learn the world of games on FACEBOOK ! How Life/ Love takes you by the little finger and twirls you around :))

Socio - Cultural pressures on women

2011-10-24T16:48:00.000+05:30

Life has different tests for each one of us. One finds people longing for kids, others having too many, some wanting a particular sex a son or a daughter, some having either of the two too many.

Sometimes I wonder about this cultural obsession to have sons prevalent in India and China which has impacted female infanticide and our population growth at large. Its sheer social and cultural pressure created with no biological or rational relevance. A classic example of unwanted cultural stress. China announced a one child policy, which limits couples to having one child, though allowing exemptions for several cases, including rural couples, ethnic minorities, and parents without any siblings themselves. The policy limits couples to one child. Fines, pressures to abort a pregnancy, and even forced sterilization accompanied second or subsequent pregnancies. The rule has been estimated to have reduced population growth in the country of 1.3 billion by as much as 300 million people over its first twenty years.

In India the social pressure is lived as a “natural yearning” to have “an heirloom” in the cultures that follow patriarchy. Women even in educated, upper middle class & elite strata of society are not exempt from becoming victims to this crazy “emotional/ social” demand. If you think about it, each kid whether male or female has the genetic components of both his parents so biologically it represents genes of both families. Nature is so just but we make life complicated by endorsing one sex with carrying family name for social reasons as if the other sex is any lesser to do the same. In reality each of them is carrying the family genetic legacy through them.

Culture socialization or whatever the right word takes its toll on the women in a lopsided way especially in these two countries. Sad but true.

Stop Fooling start Living

2011-09-30T09:33:00.000+05:30

Gosh !!!!!!!! you meet brilliant people royally fooling themselves. They will visit the temple on every occasion but refuse to let go of the duplicity in their lives. It is sad to watch them year after year trying to live in a wishful state. Anyone who lives such life with lack of integrity whether he eats the best food, lives in the best country and in a dream house will never have a peaceful sleep. They have common restlessness in spite of having the best at their disposal. Such characters are perpetually unconfident with lack peace and fulfillment in their lives. Well happiness, what is that ???

It is funny to see them give away non veg, alcohol and what not but the key weakness - their obsession with sex that drives them to live lives they are living and pay a price through their nose that part remains unaffected. No rethinking about handling that part. They live a life of utterly selfish convenience highly compartmentalized. Worshiping the book but ignoring the word.

Selective telling, hearing and sense of justice well………. The best part I have observed with such people is they live in their make believe world and believe that everyone else would believe their make believe story. Clever guys the only people you are fooling are your selves. Wake up start living and enjoying this beautiful life TRUTHFULLY, it is really worth it!

Similarity between India and US current political situations - Our world is changing faster than we think

2011-08-23T12:34:00.002+05:30

While India reels under the pressure of introducing a Jan Lokpal bill which has literally put the current Government with foot in their mouth in handling this crisis situation, the US debt debacle occupies the minds of international investors.Both at some level are demands of a world which is changing way too fast for the current governments to handle.

In India the state of affairs is that the current Govt. is still using their archaic “Babuism” tactics of mitigating the effect of the protest which is growing with every passing day. Literally the situation is similar to a parent, handling a teenager, who does not realize that their son/ daughter has grown up but continues to treat them as kids. While the youth joins the Anna campaign and the nation is looking forward to more effective corruption free politicians we have the likes of Kapil Sibal who represent arrogance of power incarnate. In his address to Lokpal bill and related public addresses Sibal showcased a perfect example of politicians we the people of India are regretting voting for. We regret our choices while voting for likes of Sibal assuming education and experience might make them wise. Sibal represented what a normal minister epitomizes in our politics today that they are most divorced from the common man's sentiment living in a self created world like demi Gods. The way this govt missed the point is not funny seems its time the reigns are passed to the younger generation in Congress and overall Indian politics and give kinds of Sibal the much deserved retirement.

US with their debt debacle has a similar political situation, has similar ask of the times where world is changing fast and power equations changing even faster than US realizes and finds time to react. The politic positions relished so far in terms of a simplistic division of just two party makeup - Republicans and Democrats is no longer relevant where one party gauges the interest of the rich and the other upholds the interests of the common man. The situation demands someone who thinks what the country needs i.e partly to tax people and partly to cut down on paid facilities. A coalition party seems the way out and the United States needs to come to terms with it sooner than later. What is good for the growth plan and an effective debt plan for the country to retain their stature of a super power? Times are changing fast............

Silly assumptions complex Life

2011-07-29T16:59:00.001+05:30

A small example when we are young we get marked or graded on different subjects Maths, English, Science and so on. We cannot ascribe the marks scored in one subject to the other. One can be brilliant in Maths but an average performer in fine arts and so on. It is all a matter of interest or aptitude or both.

Why do we get confused in Life then?

IF someone passes out of an ivy league college, is brilliant in studies it is assumed he/ she would be an ace in social conduct – we feel its “natural” to expect him/ her to be an ace son, boyfriend, husband or father. One need not follow the other. Being good in academics and being successful in life are two different things. Being successful in Life needs much more than sheer academics which is only one of the ingredients. Academics, Career, Relationships, social conduct all are different subjects.

Accolades received in each qualify only for that respective category and cannot be assumed to give credit to other. IF I am a topper in Maths and therefore I am expected to be excellent in English is unfair.

Somewhere we need to set our expectations more fairly. Often we castigate people for being brilliant in their area of interest/ subject by expecting them to be as brilliant in Life over all. Also at times we give them undue credit of being successful in life by the virtue of their academic qualifications.

Need to have more balanced, holistic approach before setting expectations or assessing people.

My top 10 Quotable quotes

2011-07-20T12:38:00.000+05:30

- People wrapped up in themselves make small packages - Ben Franklin
- Actions speak louder than words.
- Example is the best sermon.
- Nobody minds having something too good for them
- ' Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all - Alfred Tennyson
- No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
- Money costs many things - Emerson
- You must know when to leave a place even if you do not know where to go
- The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment.
- Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.

* all the un ascribed quotes are by anonymous writers which i did not bother to note down at times.

Meeting Donald Trump in "THINK BIG"

2011-07-16T13:06:00.001+05:30

More than often one comes across self proclaimed “geeks”, “geniuses” watching them closely one is not very impressed. Only their circle of friends and they themselves think the way they do. Others, well they have a different story on how these set of people look or behave or are.

Books are one's best friends. Reading helps one connect to another’s perspective. The biggest blessing is one can always turn pages and re read. Something one cannot do even while talking to a person. One really cannot rewind conversations.

The one I just finished is “Think Big” by Donald Trump & Bill Zanker. I have read quite a few books in such league but this one is most impressive. The guy has put across the right stuff the right way. The audience is everyone with or without ivy league college degrees and subject is how to make it BIG in business and life. It is for the 2% aspiring to reach the top. Also because it comes from horse’s mouth so you know he’s been there done that the advice is genuine and not a feel factor. The book is for people who are perfectionists and want to scale to the optimum. Trump puts in a structured way the various other qualities other than degrees and brains as pre requisites to making it big. One comes across quite a few people passing out of ivy league colleges but not making it as big as they could have. Its sad to see people dole out their gold brains at the price of silver and be happy about it. The difference is their inability to think BIG. Nothing wrong with it but to those who do want to make it BIG with or without the degrees some phenomenal qualities make them grasp the moon. Not all stars shinning there followed the clichéd ivy league college education and having great brains route. They are normal people with average brains but extraordinary persistence, hard work, positive attitude and a passionate dream.Donald crisply outlines what are the ingredients that makes a success story. Do read this book if you get a chance.

Fitness Regime

2011-06-21T09:18:00.001+05:30

Currently am soaked in the fitness regime. Started with the annual health check up which boosted the morale. Engaged in doing a research of the other gymn options on the basis of my priorities, I finally zeroed on the Gold’s gymn bidding adieu to Maximus. Since last two weeks now for this quarter its – GOLD’s. My personal favorite in terms of service and overall experience would be Talwarkers.

Well so far besides the “ fluff” and the plush environment I am yet to get impressed by their coaching. The machines and the surroundings of course are decent. It is not as spread out as one would want it to be but lets see if I achieve any results from their coaching.

In the meanwhile I find myself shifting to vegetarianism, internally I mean. Though I have not given up eating non veg. From “healthy” stand point veggies are a better option and go a long way from calorie stand point as well.

Reading blood type based diets to quite a few other reviews am fine tuning the system to enable me lose weight effectively to meet targets in next 3 months. Lets see..watching what I eat and 5 days a week gymn should do me good. All I need to remind myself is CONSISTENCY.

Pain an integral part of living

2011-05-05T18:45:00.004+05:30

This is my point of view and based on my own experience and feeling. The earlier one learns to accept pain as we do happiness the better. Its like two sides of the coin of Life. From childhood our brains and hearts are hardwired with dreams about being "forever happy". As one grows old one continues aspiring for this “forever happy” state.

We try and avoid anything that we foresee would give us pain whether its developing relationships beyond a point or evolving a lifestyle where we do not have any restrictions or replacing anything or everything that threatens this state of conceptual happiness. Consequently we maintain/ manipulate everything around our ecosystem that would not disturb our “state of happiness”. We seem so scared of pain.

We see examples of people who follow this philosophy all the time but are they happy? They should be logically most happy but NO they are not they are still yearning to be happy. They lead half fulfilled lives.

Life is a clever dame it pays you back exactly in the same coin. If you measure your inputs then you receive measured returns. The more wholesomely you live the wholesomely life pays you back. Pain is the price one might have to pay if one loves truly and lives life wholesomely. Its better to undergo pain and accept it as part of life early because then one begins to learn to handle it. Once we are not afraid of pain then we are not afraid of living intensely and in depth in all spheres which leads to a fulfilled state. "यह आग का दरिया है डूब के निकलना है "

Celebrating Death of Ravan

2011-05-03T09:10:00.000+05:30

Congratulations and Celebrations !!!!The inevitable happens again and again, victory of Good over Evil. As we celebrate the death of Ravan lets not forget to pick up the lessons for this is just death of the symbol, the manifestations and the seeds he has sown of the bitter fruit which will ripen in future will affect posterity. These lessons will empower us to bring such Ravans to book faster than we did this one which gives them less time to propogate their schools of thought and action.

Ravan was a super hero fighting a super power defeated because of dastardly intent but one needs to understand what constituted his heroism and assess him in an objective light. There were of course the qualities of relentless dedication to purpose, single minded resolve, courage of his convictions and an uncanny knack of strategizing his existence in the face of death that lurked around him for such a long time.

Just imagine if such Ravans were used to set up a committee and asked to make strategies to unravel more like them or our corrupt politicians they would perform much better than our regular teams. We do not have dearth of intelligence or strategists but these people have the experience of living those strategies from the other side of the table plus they are live examples of how the enemy’s mind works in a negative strain. This would be the shortest and easiest way to leverage their negative energies and convert them for positive intent I think.

Missing the doughnut for the hole

2011-05-02T14:57:00.003+05:30

Recently I came across situations where one finds two people indulging in altercations, playing the blame game and ruining relationships. The altercations are nothing more but effects of something deeper. I feel one often comments or reacts to the effects. There are behavior patterns that repeat and one finds great romances, great friendships ruined in matter of few such instances.

I believe getting deeper to understanding the root cause is what moves us closer to understanding the situation and aspire towards some kind of a positive solution if one wishes to resurrect the relationship otherwise it’s a vicious circle.

A second important thing i realized that its critical to assess ones own contribution to that situation because what we can change most definitely about the situation is by changing ones self. By convincing the other or making them understand their contribution to the situation might make a difference or bring about little change because the dependency is still on the other. It also depends on variables such as the intention and make up of the other person.

If we want to grow and take a learning from the incident then analysing our own role in the cause of the disparaged effect and improving upon it is key to growing positively out of a negative situation.

To Love Is to Be Chaste - From J Krishnamurti

2011-04-20T12:01:00.000+05:30

Read the previous posting and then this one , this is more a continuation to that one.

To Love Is to Be Chaste

Posted:

This problem of sex is not simple and it cannot be solved on its own level. To try to solve it purely biologically is absurd; and to approach it through religion or to try to solve it as though it were a mere matter of physical adjustment, of glandular action, or to hedge it in with taboos and condemnations is all too immature, childish, and stupid. It requires intelligence of the highest order. To understand ourselves in our relationship with another requires intelligence far more swift and subtle than to understand nature.But we seek to understand without intelligence; we want immediate action, an immediate solution, and the problem becomes more and more important. . . . Love is not mere thought; thoughts are only the external action of the brain. Love is much deeper, much more profound, and the profundity of life can be discovered only in love. Without love, life has no meaning and that is the sad part of our existence. We grow old while still immature; our bodies become old, fat, and ugly, and we remain thoughtless. Though we read and talk about it, we have never known the perfume of life. Mere reading and verbalizing indicates an utter lack of the warmth of heart that enriches life; and without that quality of love, do what you will, join any society, bring about any law, you will not solve this problem. To love is to be chaste.Mere intellect is not chastity. The man who tries to be chaste in thought, is unchaste, because he has no love. Only the man who loves is chaste, pure, incorruptible. - J. Krishnamurti, The Book of Life

Love Is Incapable of Adjustment - From J Krishnamurti

2011-04-20T11:56:00.000+05:30

You all receive selected forwards from me from the J Krishnamurti daily quotes, pasting below something that is worth cherishing - it sums up so well and is crystal clear.

Love Is Incapable of Adjustment

Love is not a thing of the mind, is it? Love is not merely the sexual act, is it? Love is something which the mind can not possibly conceive. Love is something which cannot be formulated. And without love, you become related; without love, you marry. Then, in that marriage, you "adjust yourselves" to each other. Lovely phrase! You adjust yourselves to each other, which is again an intellectual process, is it not? . . . This adjustment is obviously a mental process. All adjustments are. But, surely, love is incapable of adjustment. You know, sirs, don't you, that if you love another, there is no "adjustment." There is only complete fusion. Only when there is no love do we begin to adjust. And this adjustment is called marriage. Hence, marriage fails, because it is the very source of conflict, a battle between two people. It is an extraordinarily complex problem, like all problems, but more so because the appetites, the urges, are so strong. So, a mind which is merely adjusting itself can never be chaste. A mind which is seeking happiness through sex can never be chaste. Though you may momentarily have, in that act, self-abnegation, self-forgetfulness, the very pursuit of that happiness, which is of the mind, makes the mind unchaste. Chastity comes into being only where there is love. - J. Krishnamurti, The Book of Life

More quotes from Morari Bapu

2011-04-16T13:37:00.001+05:30

Well had to come back with the few other quotes or "shairs" i jotted in my listening to the discourse this time. Again i mention its my short coming not being able to jot down the names of the poets he ascribed these to while quoting.

- जो खुद को पकड़ लेता है वोह खुदा को पकड़ लेता है. - Morari Bapu

- जिनको पकड़अ था हाथ समझकर, वोह दस्ताने निकले.

- तोर ली मैंने बेरियाँ सब, अब न तू चाहिए न रब
मैं तो यूही गुनेहगार था, इसमें तेरी गवाही गज़ब
तेरी पाकीजगी पर न कहीं तोहमत लगे,
तू बेवफा हुआ, हुआ लेकिन न होना अब बेअदब
हमसफ़र हैं और सहारे भी हैं, अश्क क्यों फिर भेह रहे हैं बेसबब
तोर ली मैंने बेरियाँ सब अब न तू चाहिए न रब.

- मुझे काम है इश्वर से दुनिया रूठती है तो रूठे

- हमने हसरतों के दाग आंसुओं से धो लिए, आपकी मर्ज़ी आप बोलिए या न बोलिए

- महबूब जो भी दे वोह महबूब है

- देखकर दिलकशी ज़माने की आरज़ू है फिर धोखा खाने की,

ए गेम ज़िन्दगी तू नाराज़ न हो, हमे आदत है मुस्कुराने की.

Morari Bapu - Love you !

2011-04-14T11:46:00.001+05:30

Every time i hear him i love and respect him even more he is .........A TRUE BLESSING, i do not know what i did all i can say is " Thank God for YOU ", must have done some things good over past births....

Sharing just a couple quotes of the scores he must shared over the discourse of 9 days, will share few more after referring my notes

सितारों को आँखों मैं महफूज़ रखना

बहुत दूर तक रात ही रात होगी

मुसाफिर हैं हम भी मुसाफिर हो तुम भी

किसी मोड़ पर फिर मुलाक़ात होगी

मेरे दिल के किसी कोने में एक मासूम सा बच्चा रहता है

जो देख कर बरो की दुनिया बरा होने से डरता है

Sorry could not capture the poets as when he referred names. It was wonderful hearing him over Navratri, the discourse he gave at Haridwar.

Agent of change

2011-04-05T09:36:00.000+05:30

Over time one realises that the only thing / person one can change is ones self. Thats the best and surest way to bring about any change. I agree with Aurobindo when he says " one cannot teach". Each of us learns what we have to, when we have to, we all are in different stages of evolution. We all arrive in our own time :)

Its like a journey one meets people with some one connects instantly, effortlessly , others just pass by. Those who value your touch stay back with you others rub shoulders and move on. One cannot calculate or manipulate it.

So i tell myself stay focused work just on yourself and move on so that one has no regrets.

Small surprises - Varying Senstivities

2011-03-29T09:35:00.001+05:30

I always feel that we define ourselves through our relationships. What goes around comes around. The way i was brought up was to think more about the other in a relationship whether its with a friend, with a pet or cousin. I think i observed that in all that my parents and family did - to think/ feel more about "the other" in a relationship. No doubt that helped me nurture the most amazing friendships and connections that i cherish today.

Here is an anecdote that surprised me. In the maddening maze of things we become so self centered nevertheless it reveals sensitivities. There are two friends who go to watch a movie. One of the friends receives a call that the fish, the only pet he had, had jumped out of the fish bowl and died. He felt sad and on the behest of his accompanying friend went to check out purchasing another fish even before reaching home and checking on his dead pet. It so happened that they could not purchase another fish and on returning home the supposedly dead fish survived.

Its different and cannot be treated like a “quick fix” just like i replace a light bulb." People replace pets after the fact here jumping the gun was surprising.

Nobody actually thought about the poor fish or the relationship with it, a living creature dependent just on you for its existence. Its matter of sensitivities. In larger scheme of things we might be as inconsequential as this fish do we want to be treated like this one?

Nuggets of wisdom

2011-03-26T09:29:00.004+05:30

Let me share a quote that sprung in my mind today morning.

During my growing up years I had a mentor Uncle, we used to exchange quotes that impressed us he used to call them “ nuggets of wisdom”.

This quote is dedicated to those "friends" wrapped in themselves who reach you at their convenience for their convenience. Their inconsistency is their only constant.

The quote goes like this – “ You may not tell me from where you are coming or where you want to go but the way you walk tells me your story.”

Some of our "friends" share with us selectively - realities, which might affect our opinion about them. I appreciate their privacy but any reality that impacts my relationship with my friend if kept opaque is not acceptable its building a perception which is not true. Are we hiding something from others or ourselves? Actually we need no enemies outside we gull ourselves amazingly well. Anyways such " friendships" i suppose die a natural death.

Absolute integrity is the only lesson we are expected to learn, one has to achieve it whether one is being watched or not. To learn this lesson we determine our own time we might defer it to next 10 births, 10000 or 10 quadrillion.

Healthy to have critics around

2011-03-24T09:42:00.001+05:30

I think sometimes critics are better than “superficial friends” , they give us a different way of looking at the same situation. Often I find that the one who is undergoing a situation gets too subjective to take diverse points of view into consideration. Critics come handy then. We are assuming its constructive criticism given the intent of the critic is to just present a different point of view than anything else.

Its like you are putting a picture frame on the wall and someone standing at a distance lets you set the angle for the best possible results.

Some of my best friends are my best critics, most ardent ones if I may say the least. But I love them for their criticism.

King’s Speech and Jodha Akbar

2011-03-22T09:32:00.001+05:30

These two movies had one thing in common as I see it. King’s speech has Lionel the friend who enables unravel the knots in the heart of Berty to liberate him from his stammer and Jodha gave herself up completely to Akbar only when he creates his own niche in her heart. She teaches him to connect to the pulse of his empire - the hearts of his people.

Essentially as i I see it if one explores deeply that the root cause of what the head thought and acted upon rested with the heart. There were the best physicians at Berty’s disposal who made him do everything possible to exercise his muscles etc etc but as Lionel says “ the root lies much, much deeper” and then this friend traces it to King’s childhood. Berty is hesitant to let this doctor get into his personal space but then is courageous enough to allow him in after some resistance. Akbar too being the most powerful ruler had to learn simple lessons from Jodha to peep into the hearts of his people and as soon as he does it new doors open. His reign scales a new peak, a new level.

Nuances of the heart can only be understood by the heart they have no logic. Most often people who are brainy try controlling their world of emotions. We all do it. Assuming brain/intellect power to be the ultimate power which got us where we are, we trust it better than our heart. Maybe because brain/ head gets us tangible results – the wealth we accumulate, the degrees we earned. But understanding and wisdom I think comes out of a fine balance of when to switch off the intellect and switch on the heart and vica versa.

Lionel had no degrees, he had experience of understanding the nuances of human behavior and confidence to be able to reach other human beings and touch their hearts – listen to them, participate in their pain. The King with world’s wealth at his disposal stammered he was in a given situation Life/ God/ Fate wanted him to be in. Each had his own challenges. To me the challenges the King faced were more daunting because given the fact that Lionel finally becomes rich completes his circle, the King has a long way to go. Though he made good progress in trusting his heart, a friend who was not a certified doctor, his gut feeling that this friend will get him out of this situation. But when compared to Lionel his understanding of matters of the heart was as good as a student’s. Lionel was a teacher, he had mastered it.

I think emotional growth is much slower than the intellectual growth. Its like we grow physically the fastest, then comes intellect which can be partially genetic but emotional growth is completely self driven genetics has no play there evolution of the soul has maybe some play. Our accumulated emotional growth over lifetimes has some difference to make, may be.

Dubai - Exotic land of the Arabs

2011-02-26T18:37:00.003+05:30

Well when i tell you that i am a rich lady , i really am........for i possess diamonds that glitter in my darkest hours, who care for me, feel for me and pamper me.These diamonds are few of my selected friends and matured friendships i am giving an introduction to none other than MANJARI my college buddy who has been a friend more than last couple of decades.

All these years she had been inviting me to visit her in Dubai and all this while i had one excuse or the other till last couple of weeks when i visited Dubai on her behest and stayed with her for a week. Travelling and exposing ones self to other places, ways of living , cultures and perspectives is one of the most valuable gifts one can give oneself. Following this line of thought i try and travel whenever i can where ever i can. The de learning and re learning is an amazing exercise and one never remains the same after the experience.

Trip to Dubai besides unfolding the opulence of the province removed more than one cobwebs i had weaved in my mind around the Islamic cultures. To me till i visited it was a culture which was restrictive, intolerant and narrow minded. Now after i visited Dubai all that has been washed away Arabs are one of the most tolerant, warm hearted and open minded people who accomodate other cultures while maintaining the nuances of their own. I saw pork on restaurant menus, women dressed in short dresses along with women in veil all co existing in such a beautiful harmony. Everyone being looked at with equal dignity.

Technically speaking Dubai had the latest electronic gadgets, Mercedes and BMW appear as cheap cars because we see so many of them, some of the exotic sports models are seen off and on, there is a floating bridge they have which is few metres above the sea level, the sea is almost running parallel to it while one drives. We see roads lined with beds of pansies and oak trees with a network of water pipes for automatic irrigation. Every year the city reclaims parts of the desert and increases it boundary into it. They have ski slopes made in malls and desert safaris a call away. The systems function as effectively as in the US and the law and order is more seamless than in the US. I did not see half as many patrolling police cars as many i saw in the US. I was told that the police here moves in civil suits. One can see abandoned houses lying vacant no one tresspasses or poaches others domain. If one has to rent out a place one needs to switch the lights on and keep the doors open so that interested parties can walk around and reach you. People leave their shops open when they go out for prayers during the day.

I was told the total population of Dubai is 35 lakhs so one does not see flood of people its very spaced out no crowds except for weekends on popular joints. Men and women are very fashion conscious and by far quite handsome and pretty in comparison to their counterparts in US or UK. The beach walk area is as romantic as the one you walk at Santa Monica with very nice cafes lined up tastefully all along. Initially looking at the women i thought them to be European till i was told that besides the local Arab population most of them were Jordanians, Serbians and Russians. Most of the women wear good amount of makeup and are very conscious of their attire in spite of their veil. They support such exotic diamond rings, bangles, Gucci, Coach handbags, Arabic women wear very strong perfumes which linger way after they pass by you in the malls. One did not see frustration or unhappiness under the veil it was more of a smug contentment in their own world in spite of the women in mini skirts around them. One saw Arabic women in these ground sweeping black gown with huge hair buns under their black scarfs swirming the beach walks in their stilletoes. The men also supported those white robes and the head gear which was mysteriously held by the black band. I used to almost stare at them to see how they manage to retain the head scarf without letting it fall :)

On the lowlights the system of governance is monarchy which is widely accepted and did not see any signs of resistance. An average local is well taken care of with their education being free and quite a few facilities doled out to them on a silver platter. For immigrants its risky to invest in ownership because the beliefs of the rulers is the law of the land there is no sense of belonging or ownership they can have. The status of citizenship is granted to none no matter how many years one has been living there. All businesses have to have 41 - 51 % stakeholding of the locals. Alcohol is served in restaurants with licence and is not sold anywhere in public places such as water parks or malls. Paan is altogether banned from being sold or in any form so i missed it after those nice Turkish meals. I was told this is because of the spitting culture around it.

Well amidst all these i was treated like a queen where Manjari took me to a home made Arabic barbacue hosted by her brother at his grand bunglow, Turkish, Chinese, Italian eating joints, water parks and desert safari and topping to the cake was when she hosted a champagne toast at the exclusive Atmosphere the restaurant on the 122nd floor of the Burj Khalifa the tallest building in the world with its height shooting 828 m (2,717 ft) from the ground level. I could not have asked for more to see, taste and please my senses with. Manjari's Dubai was wonderful, without her all would have been very black and white. She added colour and life to it.

Thank you Manjari i will cherish our time together always !

Introspecting - Relationships

2011-01-25T15:43:00.000+05:30

Hi !

This is my first write up of the year. Well 2010 was fairly good for my blog space as I feel I did much better than 2009.

What I am thinking about these days is - is price only limited to currency? So many of us are rich with currency but bankrupt of emotions or compassion. We assume that all that can be deposited is in banks so that one can withdraw but for everything else we feel there is nothing to deposit. Especially when it comes to relationships. Do we bother to be just there for our loved ones or are we there only at our convenience? Are we really, really there for our friends when they truly need us or are we with them only during celebrations or milestones. Do we find ourselves around them just for nothing, just being there……….giving of yourself, investing yourself? :)

Relationships of convenience will always be shallow, superficial and exist at 2 feet level and expecting it to give a harvest of 200 feet depth is foolish. Depth is only cultivated over time with much more giving than expecting. Its more of loving selflessly, unconditionally without being judgmental which is tough. We are kind to a friend last couple of times and want that they remove blemishes in relationship of the last 10 years. Is it really fair? Do we really, truly invest ourselves in our relationships without any motive?

These are the thoughts passing my mind these days and I am stirring myself to realize and not replicate the Utilitarian model of material world of use and throw to relationships.Building relationships is key and to some extent key differentiator in keeping one grounded.

There was a saying i had read, i value friends who have time for me on their calendar but i cherish friends who for me would not consult a calendar.

Lets see how 2011 unfolds :) wishing one and all the very best !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Avatar and the residue it left

2010-10-05T11:02:00.000+05:30

Though i watched Avatar, the movie, some time back but some thoughts stay with you. they just surface every now and then tying knots to some instances and weaving a context in ones mind.

I was especially touched by the phenomena of making the connection, the connecting - once the bond is formed even the birds are ready to lend themselves for humans to ride. The whole feature and message seemed extraordinary the moment we really connect the organism opens up and no rules apply then even animals are ready to oblige one - just for that connection that is made. Without the connection everyone lives as an island where only logic and analysis works. But once you connect as physically demonstrated in Avatar then no rules apply. Its realm of the heart or soul or better still something we cannot capture in words to describe ....

In real life i think this works at a mental level or psychological level or maybe when people say chemistry that level. When we connect to people in the real sense get under their skin and connect then they are ready to give their lives. Then no calculation of what received and the proportion to be returned is calculated. Every action that follows becomes innocent and reactions happen out of that innocence.The heart so to say opens up like flower to reveal its core. Its true i feel everything is interconnected ........everything .......all of it ! - Avatar an excellent demonstration.

Customer cheated on Service charge in South Delhi Restaurants

2010-06-26T15:44:00.000+05:30

Hi All !

Well just to highlight the service charge menace especially prevelant in restaurants in South Delhi. Almost all the restaurants in Defence Colony charge charge you a service charge on the bill amount after adding the VAT. While the Rule Book and common sense says that one has to pay service charge on the principal amount one pays for the food bill. This include Swagath where the manager informed that this was what their Federation of Restaurants in Def Col has decided - its building votes and cheating in unison, more the better.

Again in GK 2 Ruby Tuesday not only they charge an obnoxious 15% SC whereas norm is 10% most places but also cheats the same way and when the manager is approached there is a one line answer to it that all our branches do it. Upon reminding them about the rule book they will give you a discount to absorb it in your case.

This tendency to align or make groups or herd together to cheat and justify the cause of cheating is sadly a very self gratifying excuse. So friends beware and when it comes to unjustified malpractices then one has to put a stop Rs 25 or 250 or 2500 is not the point.

The learning might help you all - Banking Ombudsman comes to rescue

2010-03-10T00:01:00.001+05:30

Well this is regarding a small win i had with Banking Ombudsman a body deployed by RBI to attend and mediate the harassment and related issues faced by customers from banks.The Office of Banking Ombudsman has considerable powers http://www.bankingombudsman.rbi.org.in/

The Banking Ombudsman (BO)Office is housed in the RBI building at Sansad Marg. The case was that in 2006 i had made a final settlement of my credit card payment with ICICI bank to their agents and got a full and final settlement receipt from them. After 4 years, last September i found my saving bank account in the same bank impacted by some Lein charges notified to me by regular post hardcopy mail. The bank had charged my savings account to claim Rs 8000 against their self proclaimed dues against the surrendered credit card without any prior notification or my approval.. I immediately wrote to the branch manager of the GK branch with the scanned copy of the receipt. For first few times he did not acknowledge my mail giving some excuse or the other finally when he did that he asked me to reach his debt department, he even in undertones tried to warn me that i should not be aggressive giving me some lame excuse. After first few calls he stopped answering my phone and the person in debt department did the same. This was a very frustrating experience. I reached out to a friend who is well versed with registering complaints regarding consumers and he told me about Banking Ombudsman.

Mid November after 1.5 months of following up with the bank i reached BO office through a mail putting my case and scanned copy of my documents. They laised with bank and i received a response from Bank in Feburary through the BO office which i contested. The bank was again quoting their rule book completely glossing over the receipt and the gap in their communication with their collection agency. I charged them with cheating me of the trust i had in putting my money in their saving account and they impacting it to recover funds they deem fit without my approval. The BO office called for a face to face meeting at the RBI office. I went there to present my case with all original receipts.

Guess what before i could enter the BO room the ICICI representative a 55 - 60 yrs old gentleman reached me in the reception area and told me that he was sorry and that they were losing a lot of customers because of the credit card department and that we should settle the case outside without the presence of the BO. He asked me what i wanted i informed him i wanted my money credited back and my account closed with ICICI for good. He gave it to me in written to remit my money back within 4 days and helping me close the account. The written agreement was shown to the BO and i was told that in case the bank does not comply i should reach back to the BO office again. The concerned debt officer was also present and the only answer she had for BO was that she receives 200 calls a day and she cannot attend all unmindful of the 5 months and botheration the customer went through.

I am wondering how many of us keep receipts that long and how many of the customers the bank must be cheating. Not many people bother to reach BO office or really know that one exists. In the meanwhile the bank simply meets its accounts by hook or by crook.

Good learning experiences in the last three weeks

2010-03-07T10:05:00.000+05:30

Hi !

Well starting 3rd week of Feb till the first week of March i have taken two trainings. The first one the Landmark Forum an exhaustive 3.5 full day workshop gifted by my dear sister and the second one a two day workshop on Stephen R Covey's book " 7 Habits of Highly effective people" which i opted for with IBM learning.

Landmark Forum provided insights into unleashing the potential each one of us have in us to be able to accomplish ANYTHING we dream by showing ways to remove the self constructed mental obstructions which hinder us from experiencing and expressing Life and relationships to the fullest. Further they hold us all with ONE binding value that is INTEGRITY. We all suffer because we compromise on our integrity to ourselves in some way or the other, the emphasis to live in the Present, to examine incidents separate from ones own interpretation of it, the world we create by our word and the value of living our word. Any change that takes place takes place in a moment and that moment is ALWAYS NOW. The moment we truly resolve to do it and live to the commitment of our spoken word. Very experiential training not aimed at adding on or changing oneself but aiming to transform ones self through awareness of how one is right now, take responsibility of ones words and actions. Also this enables one study the behavior of others why they behave the way they do.

The second training on " 7 Habits.." well this one identifies the 7 steps put character as the foundation of all. Character which is hidden forms 80% of the whole being only 20% is visible as personality to others as a tip of the iceberg. Identifies personal trustworthiness which radiates from center of self to the periphery and affects ones interpersonal managerial and organizational performance. It basis relationships at the heart of our success.Living to the Principles one sets for oneself is the basic edifice on which all the rest is built. the significance of emotional bank account and the Maturity continuum in relationships.

Both the trainings pointed to the same things in different ways - all blocks are in our own thinking and we create our own perception and realities and then go and live it. Integrity and character form the heart of EVERYTHING, if that is in place all will fall in place sooner or later and one can achieve anything. The reason for all misery is our own compromise on these. We all are responsible for our own state whatever good, bad, ugly and we all have the potential to make our lives a MASTERPIECE only if learn to be true to ourselves, live our own principles to the letter and keep watching ourselves every moment all the time as we create possibilities every moment, all the time and the moment is now.

Its wonderful to visit ones self once in a while - checkout and dust the cobwebs :)

Launching InfoBOOM in India

2010-02-12T17:51:00.000+05:30

2009 marked the initial launch of infoBOOM!( http://www.ibm.com/businesscenter/in/infoboom), a professional social media marketing community designed for IT leaders within mid sized businesses. This collaborative effort initiated by IBM and CIO.com, was initially available within the U.S. and UK. In addition to those markets, infoBOOM! is now available in the following countries: Italy, France,India, Australia/New Zealand, Singapore

infoBOOOM! is a social networking environment for mid size IT leaders to gain real time access to expert opinions from IBM, IT analysts, Business Partners, industry influencers, and customers experts. This dynamic forums allows members to expand their network, collaborate with peers, and gain IT and business perspectives from across the social web to help them become more influential in making strategic decisions that benefit their companies. infoBOOM! groups can be accessed via LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.

GET GOING REGISTER and participate in the social dailogue :)
http://www.ibm.com/businesscenter/in/infoboom

Absence filled ........Connect to your lost ones

2010-01-22T11:28:00.000+05:30

Hi All

I am in Bangalore past one week and just forwarding this word for an initiative my sister Upma is driving. The name of the initiative is - "Absence filled".
As per this intitiative Upma is a facilitator to connect you to the right activity and the Ashram activities you choose to support. Read through the below format and feel free to reach Upma directly in case you are interested to participate or want to know more.

Participation choices: You are invited to own your loved one again by seeing them in the eyes of an old age home resident. One has the below mentioned choices:

1) Pay for the monthly expense of a resident

2) Spend time with them

3) Arrange a cultural evening for them

4) Take them out once in a month

The homes in Bangalore that are part of this initiative are as follows:

1) Little Sisters of the poor , Hosur Road– 140 residents

2) Anand Asharm, Bennerghetta Road – 32 residents

3) Aasharya, Banshankari – 10 residents

Steps towards Things to do

1) Enrollment is open till 26^th Jan 10. Ask for the enrollment form from Upma at upmashrian@yahoo.co.in

2) The first meeting will be held at the respective homes within a month of your enrollment confirmation.

Initiative Owner: UPMA SHRIAN, Bangalore, India - upmashrian@yahoo.co.in

Visiting Haridwar after a couple of decades

2010-01-07T16:35:00.000+05:30

This was an experience in its self. I was invited to meet Guruji and i usually would not let go of such opportunities. So we went for a 2 day trip by train to Haridwar. We were just 2 days short of the maha Kumbh mela to start on Jan 6th. The place was abuzz with preparations to receive the throngs of people from all walks of life on the Maha Kumbh.

Well to mention about the ashram and Guruji. Guruji was waiting for us and welcomed us with a beaming smile a very unassuming, smiling persona. The Ashram houses 100 rooms, a huge kitchen garden, a temple, a cow stable and couple of huge halls for prayers. The entire facility was spic and span and i was impressed by the discipline everyone followed. One sould see dignity of labour as senior swamijis also sweeping the floor and helping in cooking. The atmosphere was all in all serence and welcoming after the madness of city life. I felt like living in first gear after the fifth.

Haridwar has a flavour of its own walking the banks of Ganga throws into myraid of moods - sometimes one gets caought by the Ganga flowing other times by filth around. Sometimes by devout devotees who turn a blind eye to all practical trivialities and are wrapped in their own spiritual climate. Number of poojas happening simultaneously, million of myths and stories surrounding each temple or idol there.

We got lucky to spend an hour plus in the company of Guruji who seemed to be a practical, very sharp and well travelled person. He seemed a karamyogi in that since 2005 he spent 35 crores on doing various charitable deeds opening colleges, schools making ashrams and other similar obligations. Good part was i could see that the learnings from abroad put to action here in India, in Haridwar. There was a section of the ashram made without pillars on the basis of a design Guruji saw in Japan, he uses a treadmill and advices people on business decisions, knows exactly how many days each of the south east asian countries take to give visa - meeting such a person and the brief interaction i had was a bleassing in itself :)

Happy New Year !

2009-12-31T12:45:00.000+05:30

Well i was very redundant on my blog in 2009, gives me a reason to make a New Year resolution to be more active on this space in 2010 ! Aim for the moon and one is sure to fall amidst stars ;)

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year !

May all your worries dilute ,
May all your fears evaporate,
Giggles tickle you......
Good Luck knock your door,
Good health and happiness follow you like a toddler,
Hope, Faith, Love colour your Life with their vibrant hues !!!!!!
May the coming year be the best year of the decade for YOU,

HAPPY NEW YEAR - 2010 !

Amazing sense of humour

2008-06-07T01:18:00.000+05:30

Yesterday i was on road near the Delhi Cantt area. I read this actually stuck on the two entrance gates of a Misra fellow " The Dog is OK. Beware of the owner". Had read it number of times but saw the brave implementation the first time :)

They say global warming but Delhi is cooling down. We had by far the best May i have seen in my lifetime. It has been Bangalore weather here. They say its because of the development of the green belt around Delhi. Thanks to Shiela Dixit's " Green Delhi, clean Delhi " slogan. Sometimes things work :)

Another TGMC launch made NEW :)

2008-05-19T14:19:00.001+05:30

Seems the weekends are becoming more hectic than the week days - friends staying over, shopping, Sunday dinners all packed into one. It was a good weekend. Another TGMC national Contest launched, another web strategy, another PR stint. Sent a mail for feedback, i know some of you would be bugged but then do write back.
New designs created, new strategies used by the end deliverable is JUST THE OLD STORY. The real art is to make the wrapper more attractiveand different than last time so that the customer is tantalised to open it. The goli remains the same :)

WELCOME ALL

2008-05-08T11:31:00.000+05:30

Hi !
Finally this is the correct one, you have reached the right place. Its my BLOG, done it !
Now congratulate me and keep a track of my thoughts here :)

Though i speak much but some things are better understood when read ;)
Keep in touch and have fun!

Jo