J Krishnamurti - Out of this awareness there comes a clarity that is not induced

Out of this awareness there comes a clarity that is not induced Posted: If you sit on the bank of a river after a storm, you see the stream going by, carrying a great deal of debris. Similarly, you have to watch the movement of yourself- following every thought, every feeling, every intention, every motive-just watch it. That watching is also listening; it is being aware with your eyes, with your ears, with your insight, of all the values that human beings have created, and by which you are conditioned, and it is only this state of total awareness that will end all seeking. Please do listen to this. Most of us think that awareness is a mysterious something to be practiced, and that we should get together day after day to talk about awareness. Now, you don't come to awareness that way at all. But if you are aware of outward things, the curve of a road, the shape of a tree, the color of another's dress, the outline of the mountains against a blue sky, the delicacy of a flower, the pain on the face of a passerby, the ignorance, the envy, the jealousy of others, the beauty of the earth, then, seeing all these outward things without condemnation, without choice, you can ride on the tide of inner awareness. Then you will become aware of your own reactions, of your own pettiness, of your own jealousies. From the outward awareness you come to the inward, but if you are not aware of the outer you cannot possibly come to the inner. When there is inward awareness of every activity of your mind and your body, when you are aware of your thoughts, of your feelings, both secret and open, conscious and unconscious, then out of this awareness there comes a clarity that is not induced, not put together by the mind. And without that clarity you may do what you will, you may search the heavens and the earth and the deeps, but you will never find out what is true. - Krishnamurti, Collected Works, Vol. XV,242,Choiceless Awareness

Happy New Year 2015 !

Well, there goes another year, since quite a few years now I am speculating getting a 5 year calendar printed. Each year is just flying past looking back, the last year….

It was a year laced with academic endeavor and success, new connections and letting go of Nani on her journey forward. It was a year of endings and new beginnings. A year full of struggle and sweat followed with accolades and recognition.

Though I could feel him all around me all the time the only regret is I could not meet my mentor in person last year. His blessings were bearing fruit all the time J

Starting this year with a realization that everything is connected, what we do at work is connected to how we behave at home, is connected to how we play, is connected to the friends we have. The only thing common and that matters in all of this is the sincerity and honesty and one cannot be selectively sincere or honest. If one does then one must realize one is manipulating one’s self. To me being honest to one’s self is shortest cut to fit mental health, using manipulation cautiously as a tool limiting it only to save face in situations and not impinge one’s own interest or will makes sense. One has to realize that EVERYTHING is connected, and truth, no matter what one does, floats to the top “yeh duniya hai yeh saab janti hai.”

Happy New Year ! Lets try to stay as honest and truthful to ourselves because all of us deserve nothing less.

Of thoughts and food

Sometimes I think, and say to myself if only we think half as much, about what thoughts we are thinking than the food we eat. We go at length to scan and evaluate every meal before we eat but we let thoughts play and enter our mind randomly.  We are selective about veg, non-veg, and go to weird lengths in diet restrictions and idiosyncracies about that which feeds the body but are oblivious of watching out for thoughts or ideas that enter our mind and becomes part of the spirit and forms character. Being conscious about the coming and going thoughts and what we select, focus or ignore, to be aware about it as an observer, just as diligently we are conscious about carb or fatty food would bear much intense and effective results, isn’t it? I think so….. Will try being even more vigilant…….

Felicitated by Gama Beta Phi National Honor Society

A long time, since I received my last award for academic excellence, so feel humbled. Some great souls have such profound insights, they touch you even without being around. The founder of this society started with combining two goals felicitating 10 – 20% top students with academic excellence in a university and connecting them to serving the community. A brilliant idea to leverage performers for community. The society invites one to join them on the basis of one’s academic performance, data they collect from the University.

To read about Gama Beta Phi - http://www.gammabetaphi.org/

Thank you for all the blessings from above. I just continue to do my small bit of hard work. Also thanks to all the well-wishers, friends, this shows your wishes are reaching me.

RIP Nani

Well, I did not write much this year. But being able to spend time and having a beautiful closure with someone who was an integral part of my childhood, is something that I had not imagined in my wildest dreams. I was in India for the summer and got to spend and create lifetime memories by being present next to my grandmother in her last few months. She died on August 14^th after being bed ridden due to paralysis for last decade of her life. She was 88-89 years old.

This incident could not go unwritten, it touched me, and will leave lifelong vacuum of someone who had held my hand, taught me to walk and many a times I had basked in the glory of a celebrity like grandmother who was an icon of philanthropy. I remember, I was the first third generation kid in the family, and my grandmother doted on me. I used to accompany her to “satsangs” and absorb the environment as they sang hymns and prayers in glory of God. Many a times I accompanied her to day trips to nearby religious locations or for a dip in the sacred rivers. I think these childhood memories and company of my grandmother, had a major impact in introducing me to the world of faith and spirituality. Not even once, I remember her speaking ill of someone. She was a dedicated wife, an exceptional cook, living up to a patriarch, perfectionist husband but that did not deter her from following her passion for being around for others, collecting donations to build the temple or being around her daughters when they needed her.

My grandmother had exceptional social skills, I remember laughing and joking with her, when I pointed out that she had become a socialite joining the ladies “kitty” held in hotels. To which she remarked that she struck a deal with them that she would join the kitty and they would come for the “Amrit vani path”, the prayer meeting. The whole family was known as “Ashaji’s daughter/son or granddaughter”. One could visit the locality and reach her house without a formal address because everyone in the community knew who she was. People wanted her blessings when their daughters or daughter in laws were pregnant, she was considered a pious soul.

She loved to dress well and I remember the exact sequence of how she did and what she did while getting ready to go out. Her ability to absorb opposite point of views, hold her calm and not react was phenomenal. I do not remember a single instance of her being angry. She commanded respect from friends and foes alike, and had a very mild way of instating her presence. She was simple and elegant in thoughts and action. She was an example of impeccable integrity, whenever she was around people knew there would be no goofing of funds or the like. Collecting donations to build a temple from tent house to a huge full-fledged campus comparable to Birla mandir, is no mean task.

The hallmarks that describe her best are love and compassion. I would be happy if I imbibe a fraction of what she offered as a person, even following a fraction would make one a good human being.

Love you Nani, you are etched in my memory and being forever.

2013 coming to a close - What a year ?????

As 2013 comes to an end, want to sign off saying it tested me, tried me to the hilt and also enabled me embark a new journey. It was a blessed year where I could feel the blessings of my Guru/Mentor and all my well wishers reach me from where ever they might be. I felt enriched and truly blessed.

Thank you all, for being part of my life, for impacting it in the ways you do and all i am or will be, would be because of you, am really nothing by myself. You all and your trust in my abilities keeps me going.

I would remember this year, am sure, as a key turning point, may be in times to come.

2013, enabled me scale new depths in understanding relationships, watch their dynamics more closely besides presenting great avenues to learn. Seems it kind of gave me a dose of five years rolled into one. Realised quite a few things about myself, watched myself grow.

Bid adieu to some “friends”, made few new associations. Launched experiments, set in a space i never experienced before, lets see where it takes me. 

I cannot Thank God enough.

2014, is close at heels, another year, new resolutions, new perspectives and ……….

Happy Guru Poornima

On the occasion of Guru Poornima today, my heartiest congratulations to all Bapu’s shrotas and my known katha fraternity.

I was in the middle of reading the last year Tampa katha on Manas Hanuman Chalisa from the katha booklets. Few shairs I wanted to share. All of us know them so well as Bapu makes frequent references to these. http://moraribapu.org/

Yeh Ek zakhmi Parinda hai Var mat karna

Panah maang raha hai Shikar mat karna.

Irada samne wala badal bhi sakta hai

Muqabla hi sahi pehle var mat karna.

By Rahat Indori

Mere Rahabara Mujhko gumrah kar de,

Suna hai ki manzil kareeba a rahi hai. 

By Barabankvi Saheb

This last one is so true when I think about Bapu

Usne dekhte hi mujhe duao se bhar diya,

Abhi maine usko sajda bhi kiya nahin hai.

Jo pine se pehle kadam ladakhadaye, 

Ye mai kaun si kaunsa maikada hai.

By Raj Kaushik

Jai Siya Ram !

Don’t call them confused, they are fence sitters

I have been fortunate to be traveling and visiting friends and families settled by and large in Europe and US since childhood. Just thought of jotting down some observations and patterns I observed in the last 3 decades.This is about those who immigrate from India as students or through work in early twenties, unmarried.

 We can categorize all such Indian immigrants to two types :

a.)    Those who love to be in the other continent, endorse the way of life, go there as students, meet someone from other or their own cultures, live with them for few years and eventually marry and settle down. In the same category there are those who wish to stay single, make money, make it very clear that they are happier there and Indian roots were good riddance. They too date and lead happy, carefree life severing all ties with India except with very close friends and relatives. Both types actually accept the fact that they like it there and are straight shooters. By and large they come from broad minded family backgrounds back in India.  Are very transparent, embrace change by nature.

b.)    Then there is the second category who lead segmented lives there - one for their parents and Indian culture and the other life is the American/ British or wherever they are that culture’s given. The latter is the life they love to death. But given the image they created with families back home they do not have the guts to break that image. Or maybe they are too hardwired to break it. Consequently these are the torn types who keep lingering decisions. There is a huge gap between the expectations they set with their families and the personal life they enjoy living abroad. You find them perpetually oscillating between normalcy and unpredictable behavior. They become quite concealing by nature.

It’s the second category which is not confused but fence sitters they want to sit in two boats where they are confident of manipulating both the worlds and keep them going.  Most of this type belong to conservative family backgrounds from India. They hold high reverence towards their parents and the ideals they endorse, unconsciously they dream of living that reality some day, they are also aware that those ideals are way too out of perspective to the life they are leading. There is no meeting point.

Most of such kind end up leading an unfulfilled life, lonely, wrought with depression related illnesses or heavy drinking in later years of their lives. In an extreme case I lost a cousin subscribing to this format. Very brilliant, gold medalist, engineer. Wish he had the guts to live one life, maintaining two faces makes one fall someday, that is the truth. Also its not worth it, embrace the life you love and pay the price that it takes – moderate the image at home, rest assured every one back home will still respect you. Its one life you have, live it to the lees.

Definition of a Guru - Bapu

Only I, me, myself in relationship

Its kind of weird for some people call anything a friendship even if there is only one person i.e themselves in it. They live in a make believe world, try and control the flow of the relationship either give it enough oxygen not to let it die or chop the roots so that it’s a bonsai according to their will.

At times when they are in need they connect 100 times, other times if they go “busy” then they go absconding. Its only one person in this friendship I, me, myself. No acknowledgement of the other.

What they really do not understand is people are nice to them not because what they are but because their friends are thorough gentlemen/ women.

Strange how beautifully we gull ourselves and complain about not having lasting relationships.Beware of such abusive treatment and the sooner you cut this off the better.