King’s Speech and Jodha Akbar

These two movies had one thing in common as I see it. King’s speech has Lionel the friend who enables unravel the knots in the heart of Berty to liberate him from his stammer and Jodha gave herself up completely to Akbar only when he creates his own niche in her heart. She teaches him to connect to the pulse of his empire - the hearts of his people.

Essentially as i I see it if one explores deeply that the root cause of what the head thought and acted upon rested with the heart. There were the best physicians at Berty’s disposal who made him do everything possible to exercise his muscles etc etc but as Lionel says “ the root lies much, much deeper” and then this friend traces it to King’s childhood. Berty is hesitant to let this doctor get into his personal space but then is courageous enough to allow him in after some resistance. Akbar too being the most powerful ruler had to learn simple lessons from Jodha to peep into the hearts of his people and as soon as he does it new doors open. His reign scales a new peak, a new level.

Nuances of the heart can only be understood by the heart they have no logic. Most often people who are brainy try controlling their world of emotions. We all do it. Assuming brain/intellect power to be the ultimate power which got us where we are, we trust it better than our heart. Maybe because brain/ head gets us tangible results – the wealth we accumulate, the degrees we earned. But understanding and wisdom I think comes out of a fine balance of when to switch off the intellect and switch on the heart and vica versa.

Lionel had no degrees, he had experience of understanding the nuances of human behavior and confidence to be able to reach other human beings and touch their hearts – listen to them, participate in their pain. The King with world’s wealth at his disposal stammered he was in a given situation  Life/ God/ Fate wanted him to be in. Each had his own challenges. To me the challenges the King faced were more daunting because given the fact that Lionel finally becomes rich completes his circle, the King has a long way to go. Though he made good progress in trusting his heart, a friend who was not a certified doctor, his gut feeling that this friend will get him out of this situation. But when compared to Lionel his understanding of matters of the heart was as good as a student’s. Lionel was a teacher, he had mastered it.

I think emotional growth is much slower than the intellectual growth. Its like we grow physically the fastest, then comes intellect which can be partially genetic but emotional growth is completely self driven genetics has no play there evolution of the soul has maybe some play. Our accumulated emotional growth over lifetimes has some difference to make, may be.

Dubai - Exotic land of the Arabs

Well when i tell you that i am a rich lady , i really am........for i possess diamonds that glitter in my darkest hours, who care for me, feel for me and pamper me.These diamonds are few of my selected friends and matured friendships i am giving an introduction to none other than MANJARI my college buddy who has been a friend more than last couple of decades.

All these years she had been inviting me to visit her in Dubai and all this while i had one excuse or the other till last couple of weeks when i visited Dubai on her behest and stayed with her for a week. Travelling and exposing ones self to other places, ways of living , cultures and perspectives is one of the most valuable gifts one can give oneself. Following this line of thought i try and travel whenever i can where ever i can. The de learning and re learning is an amazing exercise and one never remains the same after the experience.

Trip to Dubai besides unfolding the opulence of the province removed more than one cobwebs i had weaved in my mind around the Islamic cultures. To me till i visited it was a culture which was restrictive, intolerant and narrow minded. Now after i visited Dubai all that has been washed away Arabs are one of the most tolerant, warm hearted and open minded people who accomodate other cultures while maintaining the nuances of their own. I saw pork on restaurant menus, women dressed in short dresses along with women in veil all co existing in such a beautiful harmony. Everyone being looked at with equal dignity.

Technically speaking Dubai had the latest electronic gadgets, Mercedes and BMW appear as cheap cars because we see so many of them, some of the exotic sports models are seen off and on, there is a floating bridge they have which is few metres above the sea level, the sea is almost running parallel to it while one drives. We see roads lined with beds of pansies and oak trees with a network of water pipes for automatic irrigation. Every year the city reclaims parts of the desert and increases it boundary into it. They have ski slopes made in malls and desert safaris a call away. The systems function as effectively as in the US and the law and order is more seamless than in the US. I did not see half as many patrolling police cars as many i saw in the US. I was told that the police here moves in civil suits. One can see abandoned houses lying vacant no one tresspasses or poaches others domain. If one has to rent out a place one needs to switch the lights on and keep the doors open so that interested parties can walk around and reach you. People leave their shops open when they go out for prayers during the day.

I was told the total population of Dubai is 35 lakhs so one does not see flood of people its very spaced out no crowds except for weekends on popular joints. Men and women are very fashion conscious and by far quite handsome and pretty in comparison to their counterparts in US or UK. The beach walk area is as romantic as the one you walk at Santa Monica with very nice cafes lined up tastefully all along. Initially looking at the women i thought them to be European till i was told that besides the local Arab population most of them were Jordanians, Serbians and Russians. Most of the women wear good amount of makeup and are very conscious of their attire in spite of their veil. They support such exotic diamond rings, bangles, Gucci, Coach handbags, Arabic women wear very strong perfumes which linger way after they pass by you in the malls. One did not see frustration or unhappiness under the veil it was more of a smug contentment in their own world in spite of the women in mini skirts around them. One saw Arabic women in these ground sweeping black gown with huge hair buns under their black scarfs swirming the beach walks in their stilletoes. The men also supported those white robes and the head gear which was mysteriously held by the black band. I used to almost stare at them to see how they manage to retain the head scarf without letting it fall :)

On the lowlights the system of governance is monarchy which is widely accepted and did not see any signs of resistance. An average local is well taken care of with their education being free and quite a few facilities doled out to them on a silver platter. For immigrants its risky to invest in ownership because the beliefs of the rulers is the law of the land there is no sense of belonging or ownership they can have. The status of citizenship is granted to none no matter how many years one has been living there. All businesses have to have 41 - 51 % stakeholding of the locals. Alcohol is served in restaurants with licence and is not sold anywhere in public places such as water parks or malls. Paan is altogether banned from being sold or in any form so i missed it after those nice Turkish meals. I was told this is because of the spitting culture around it.

Well amidst all these i was treated like a queen where Manjari took me to a home made Arabic barbacue hosted by her brother at his grand bunglow, Turkish, Chinese, Italian eating joints, water parks and desert safari and topping to the cake was when she hosted a champagne toast at the exclusive Atmosphere the restaurant on the 122nd floor of the Burj Khalifa the tallest building in the world with its height shooting  828 m (2,717 ft) from the ground level. I could not have asked for more to see, taste and please my senses with. Manjari's Dubai was wonderful, without her all would have been very black and white. She added colour and life to it.

Thank you Manjari i will cherish our time together always !

Introspecting - Relationships

Hi !

This is my first write up of the year. Well 2010 was fairly good for my blog space as I feel I did much better than 2009.

What I am thinking about these days is -  is price only limited to currency? So many of us are rich with currency but bankrupt of emotions or compassion. We assume that all that can be deposited is in banks so that one can withdraw but for everything else we feel there is nothing to deposit. Especially when it comes to relationships. Do we bother to be just there for our loved ones or are we there only at our convenience? Are we really, really there for our friends when they truly need us or are we with them only during celebrations or milestones. Do we find ourselves around them just for nothing, just being there……….giving of yourself, investing yourself? :)

Relationships of convenience will always be shallow, superficial and exist at 2 feet level and  expecting it to give a harvest of 200 feet depth is foolish. Depth is only cultivated over time with much more giving than expecting. Its more of loving selflessly, unconditionally without being judgmental which is tough. We are kind to a friend last couple of times and want that they remove blemishes in relationship of the last 10 years. Is it really fair? Do we really, truly invest ourselves in our relationships without any motive?

These are the thoughts passing my mind these days and I am stirring myself to realize and not replicate the Utilitarian model of material world of use and throw to relationships.Building relationships is key and to some extent key differentiator in keeping one grounded.

There was a saying i had read, i value friends who have time for me on their calendar but i cherish friends who for me would not consult a calendar.

Lets see how 2011 unfolds :) wishing one and all the very best !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Avatar and the residue it left

Though i watched Avatar, the movie, some time back but some thoughts stay with you. they just surface every now and then tying knots to some instances and weaving a context in ones mind.

I was especially touched by the phenomena of making the connection, the connecting - once the bond is formed even the birds are ready to lend themselves for humans to ride. The whole feature and message seemed extraordinary the moment we really connect the organism opens up and no rules apply then even animals are ready to oblige one - just for that connection that is made. Without the connection everyone lives as an island where only logic and analysis works. But once you connect as physically demonstrated in Avatar then no rules apply. Its realm of the heart or soul or better still something we cannot capture in words to describe ....

In real life i think this works at a mental level or psychological level or maybe when people say chemistry that level. When we connect to people in the real sense get under their skin and connect then they are ready to give their lives. Then no calculation of what received and the proportion to be returned is calculated. Every action that follows becomes innocent and reactions happen out of that innocence.The heart so to say opens up like flower to reveal its core. Its true i feel everything is interconnected ........everything .......all of it ! - Avatar an excellent demonstration.

Customer cheated on Service charge in South Delhi Restaurants

Hi All !

Well just to highlight the service charge menace especially prevelant in restaurants in South Delhi. Almost all the restaurants in Defence Colony charge charge you a service charge on the bill amount after adding the VAT. While the Rule Book and common sense says that one has to pay service charge on the principal amount one pays for the food bill. This include Swagath where the manager informed that this was what their Federation of Restaurants in Def Col has decided - its building votes and cheating in unison, more the better.

Again in GK 2 Ruby Tuesday not only they charge an obnoxious 15% SC whereas norm is 10% most places but also cheats the same way and when the manager is approached there is a one line answer to it that all our branches do it. Upon reminding them about the rule book they will give you a discount to absorb it in your case.

This tendency to align or make groups or herd together to cheat and justify the cause of cheating is sadly a very self gratifying excuse. So friends beware and when it comes to unjustified malpractices then one has to put a stop Rs 25 or 250 or 2500 is not the point.

The learning might help you all - Banking Ombudsman comes to rescue

Well this is regarding a small win i had with Banking Ombudsman a body deployed by RBI to attend and mediate the harassment and related issues faced by customers from banks.The Office of Banking Ombudsman has considerable powers http://www.bankingombudsman.rbi.org.in/

The Banking Ombudsman (BO)Office is housed in the RBI building at Sansad Marg. The case was that in 2006 i had made a final settlement of my credit card payment with ICICI bank to their agents and got a full and final settlement receipt from them. After 4 years, last September i found my saving bank account in the same bank impacted by some Lein charges notified to me by regular post hardcopy mail. The bank had charged my savings account to claim Rs 8000 against their self proclaimed dues against the surrendered credit card without any prior notification or my approval.. I immediately wrote to the branch manager of the GK branch with the scanned copy of the receipt. For first few times he did not acknowledge my mail giving some excuse or the other finally when he did that he asked me to reach his debt department, he even in undertones tried to warn me that i should not be aggressive giving me some lame excuse. After first few calls he stopped answering my phone and the person in debt department did the same. This was a very frustrating experience. I reached out to a friend who is well versed with registering complaints regarding consumers and he told me about Banking Ombudsman.

Mid November after 1.5 months of following up with the bank  i reached BO office through a mail putting my case and scanned copy of my documents. They laised with bank and i received a response from Bank in Feburary through the BO office which i contested. The bank was again quoting their rule book completely glossing over the receipt and the gap in their communication with their collection agency. I charged them with cheating me of the trust i had in putting my money in their saving account and they impacting it to recover funds they deem fit without my approval. The BO office called for a face to face meeting at the RBI office. I went there to present my case with all original receipts.

Guess what before i could enter the BO room the ICICI representative a 55 - 60 yrs old gentleman reached me in the reception area and told me that he was sorry and that they were losing a lot of customers because of the credit card department and that we should settle the case outside without the presence of the BO. He asked me what i wanted i informed him i wanted my money credited back and my account closed with ICICI for good. He gave it to me in written to remit my money back within 4 days and helping me close the account. The written agreement was shown to the BO and i was told that in case the bank does not comply i should reach back to the BO office again. The concerned debt officer was also present and the only answer she had for BO was that she receives 200 calls a day and she cannot attend all unmindful of the 5 months and botheration the customer went through.

I am wondering how many of us keep receipts that long and how many of the customers the bank must be cheating. Not many people bother to reach BO office or really know that one exists. In the meanwhile the bank simply meets its accounts by hook or by crook.

Good learning experiences in the last three weeks

Hi !

Well starting 3rd week of Feb till the first week of March i have taken two trainings. The first one the Landmark Forum an exhaustive 3.5 full day workshop gifted by my dear sister and the second one a two day workshop on Stephen R Covey's book " 7 Habits of Highly effective people" which i opted for with IBM learning.

Landmark Forum provided insights into unleashing the potential each one of us have in us to be able to accomplish ANYTHING we dream by showing ways to remove the self constructed mental obstructions which hinder us from experiencing and expressing Life and relationships to the fullest. Further they hold us all with ONE binding value that is INTEGRITY. We all suffer because we compromise on our integrity to ourselves in some way or the other, the emphasis to live in the Present, to examine incidents separate from ones own interpretation of it, the world we create by our word and the value of living our word. Any change that takes place takes place in a moment and that moment is ALWAYS NOW. The moment we truly resolve to do it and live to the commitment of our spoken word. Very experiential training not aimed at adding on or changing oneself but aiming to transform ones self through awareness of how one is right now, take responsibility of ones words and actions. Also this enables one study the behavior of others why they behave the way they do.

The second training on " 7 Habits.." well this one identifies the 7 steps put character as the foundation of all. Character which is hidden forms 80% of the whole being only 20%  is visible as personality to others as a tip of the iceberg. Identifies personal trustworthiness which radiates from center of self to the periphery and affects ones interpersonal managerial and organizational performance. It basis relationships at the heart of our success.Living to the Principles one sets for oneself is the basic edifice on which all the rest is built. the significance of emotional bank account and the Maturity continuum in relationships.

Both the trainings pointed to the same things in different ways -  all blocks are in our own thinking and we create our own perception and realities and then go and live it. Integrity and character form the heart of EVERYTHING, if that is in place all will fall in place sooner or later and one can achieve anything. The reason for all misery is our own compromise on these. We all are responsible for our own state whatever good, bad, ugly and we all have the potential to make our lives a MASTERPIECE only if learn to be true to ourselves, live our own principles to the letter and keep watching ourselves every moment all the time as we create possibilities every moment,  all the time and the moment is now.

Its wonderful to visit ones self once in a while - checkout and dust the cobwebs :)

Launching InfoBOOM in India

2009 marked the initial launch of infoBOOM!( http://www.ibm.com/businesscenter/in/infoboom), a professional social media marketing community designed for IT leaders within mid sized businesses. This collaborative effort initiated by IBM and CIO.com, was initially available within the U.S. and UK. In addition to those markets,  infoBOOM! is now available in the following countries: Italy, France,India, Australia/New Zealand, Singapore

infoBOOOM! is a social networking environment for mid size IT leaders to gain real time access to expert opinions from IBM, IT analysts, Business Partners, industry influencers, and customers experts. This dynamic forums allows members to expand their network, collaborate with peers, and gain IT and business perspectives from across the social web to help them become more influential in making strategic decisions that benefit their companies.  infoBOOM! groups can be accessed via LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.

GET GOING REGISTER and participate in the social dailogue :)
http://www.ibm.com/businesscenter/in/infoboom

Absence filled ........Connect to your lost ones

Hi All

I am in Bangalore past one week and just forwarding this word for an initiative my sister  Upma is driving. The name of the initiative is - "Absence filled".
As per this intitiative Upma is a facilitator to connect you to the right activity and the Ashram activities you choose to support. Read through the below format and feel free to reach Upma directly in case you are interested to participate or want to know more.

Participation choices: You are invited to own your loved one again by seeing them in the eyes of an old age home resident. One has the below mentioned choices:

1)       Pay for the monthly expense of a resident

2)       Spend time with them

3)       Arrange a cultural evening for them

4)       Take them out once in a month

The homes in Bangalore that are part of this initiative are as follows:

1)       Little Sisters of the poor , Hosur Road– 140 residents

2)       Anand Asharm, Bennerghetta Road – 32 residents

3)       Aasharya, Banshankari – 10 residents

Steps towards Things to do

1)       Enrollment is open till 26^th Jan 10. Ask for the enrollment form from Upma at  upmashrian@yahoo.co.in

2)       The first meeting will be held at the respective homes within a month of your enrollment confirmation.

Initiative Owner: UPMA SHRIAN, Bangalore, India - upmashrian@yahoo.co.in

                                     

Visiting Haridwar after a couple of decades

This was an experience in its self. I was invited to meet Guruji and i usually would not let go of such opportunities. So we went for a 2 day trip by train to Haridwar. We were just 2 days short of the maha Kumbh mela to start on Jan 6th. The place was abuzz with preparations to receive the throngs of people from all walks of life on the Maha Kumbh.

Well to mention about the ashram and Guruji. Guruji was waiting for us and welcomed us with a beaming smile a very unassuming, smiling persona. The Ashram houses 100 rooms, a huge kitchen garden, a temple, a cow stable and couple of huge halls for prayers. The entire facility was spic and span and i was impressed by the discipline everyone followed. One sould see dignity of labour as senior swamijis also sweeping the floor and helping in cooking. The atmosphere was all in all serence and welcoming after the madness of city life. I felt like living in first gear after the fifth.

Haridwar has a flavour of its own walking the banks of Ganga throws into myraid of moods - sometimes one gets caought by the Ganga flowing other times by filth around. Sometimes by devout devotees who turn a blind eye to all practical trivialities and are wrapped in their own spiritual climate. Number of poojas happening simultaneously, million of myths and stories surrounding each temple or idol there.

We got lucky to spend an hour plus in the company of Guruji who seemed to be a practical, very sharp and well travelled person. He seemed a karamyogi in that since 2005 he spent 35 crores on doing various charitable deeds opening colleges, schools making ashrams and other similar obligations. Good part was i could see that the learnings from abroad put to action here in India, in Haridwar. There was a section of the ashram made without pillars on the basis of a design Guruji saw in Japan, he uses a treadmill and advices people on business decisions, knows exactly how many days each of the south east asian countries take to give visa - meeting such a person and the brief interaction i had was a bleassing in itself :)