I have been fortunate to be traveling and visiting friends
and families settled by and large in Europe
and US since childhood. Just thought of jotting down some observations and patterns
I observed in the last 3 decades.This is about those who immigrate from India as
students or through work in early twenties, unmarried.
We can categorize all such Indian immigrants
to two types :
a.)
Those who love to be in the other continent,
endorse the way of life, go there as students, meet someone from other or their
own cultures, live with them for few years and eventually marry and settle
down. In the same category there are those who wish to stay single, make money,
make it very clear that they are happier there and Indian roots were good riddance. They
too date and lead happy, carefree life severing all ties with India except
with very close friends and relatives. Both types actually accept the fact that
they like it there and are straight shooters. By and large they come from broad
minded family backgrounds back in India. Are very transparent, embrace
change by nature.
b.)
Then there is the second category who lead
segmented lives there - one for their parents and Indian culture and
the other life is the American/ British or wherever they are that culture’s
given. The latter is the life they love to death. But given the image they created with families back home they do not have the guts to break that image.
Or maybe they are too hardwired to break it. Consequently these are the torn
types who keep lingering decisions. There is a huge gap between the
expectations they set with their families and the personal life they enjoy
living abroad. You find them perpetually oscillating between normalcy and unpredictable
behavior. They become quite concealing by nature.
It’s the second category which is
not confused but fence sitters they want to sit in two boats where they are
confident of manipulating both the worlds and keep them going. Most of this type belong to conservative
family backgrounds from India.
They hold high reverence towards their parents and the ideals they endorse,
unconsciously they dream of living that reality some day, they are also aware
that those ideals are way too out of perspective to the life they are leading.
There is no meeting point.
Most of such kind end up leading an unfulfilled life, lonely, wrought with
depression related illnesses or heavy drinking in later years of their
lives. In an extreme case I lost a cousin subscribing to this format. Very
brilliant, gold medalist, engineer. Wish he had the guts to live one life,
maintaining two faces makes one fall someday, that is the truth. Also its not
worth it, embrace the life you love and pay the price that it takes – moderate
the image at home, rest assured every one back home will still respect you. Its
one life you have, live it to the lees.
