Life draws you to itself in so many ways….

Well I have a 11 year old nephew who is visiting us currently. He lives in a different city and he is one source I turn to in order to liven up. I call him often and throw random requests or questions waiting to relish his responses and creativity. This exercise has a magical rejuvenating effect on me.

This fellow created a fictitious profile on Facebook and sent me an invitation. The intent was to play the games on FB and the rule was only his close friends and family would become his friends. I am no good at games and I would hear him talk to my sister in law who also plays discussing his scores and how he was ahead of her etc.

Every now and then he would come back to tell me that he had won an apartment and had to buy furniture and so had to earn more gold coins etc. My only ask of him was that when he bought a house he names it after me so that the world knows he loves me and only then will I start playing these games with him. He used to always put it away saying he could not do it, that was not allowed.

Couple of months ago I got another FB request from him from another account he created and he jokingly told me that this time I should accept his request and that he would name his empire after me. I accepted the request with complete faith that again this fellow was taking me on a ride. But guess what yesterday my sister in law was playing with him and told me you know what he has named his empire “Aunt Jyoti empire”. He told me "well maasi I was waiting for you to join the game because I have named it after you when my friends name their empires as “Achilles” or what not.” He said he named it 2 months ago hoping I will now start playing with him.

Welllllll was really touched and hugged and kissed and now am compelled to enter and learn the world of games on FACEBOOK ! How Life/ Love takes you by the little finger and twirls you around :))

Socio - Cultural pressures on women

Life has different tests for each one of us. One finds people longing for kids, others having too many, some wanting a particular sex a son or a daughter, some having either of the two too many.

Sometimes I wonder about this cultural obsession to have sons prevalent in India and China which has impacted female infanticide and our population growth at large. Its sheer social and cultural pressure created with no biological or rational relevance. A classic example of unwanted cultural stress. China announced a one child policy, which limits couples to having one child, though allowing exemptions for several cases, including rural couples, ethnic minorities, and parents without any siblings themselves. The policy limits couples to one child. Fines, pressures to abort a pregnancy, and even forced sterilization accompanied second or subsequent pregnancies.  The rule has been estimated to have reduced population growth in the country of 1.3 billion by as much as 300 million people over its first twenty years.

In India the social pressure is lived as a “natural yearning” to have “an heirloom” in the cultures that follow patriarchy. Women even in educated, upper middle class & elite strata of society are not exempt from becoming victims to this crazy “emotional/ social” demand. If you think about it, each kid whether male or female has the genetic components of both his parents so biologically it represents genes of both families. Nature is so just but we make life complicated by endorsing one sex with carrying family name for social reasons as if the other sex is any lesser to do the same. In reality each of them is carrying the family genetic legacy through them.

Culture socialization or whatever the right word takes its toll on the women in a lopsided way especially in these two countries. Sad but true.

Stop Fooling start Living

Gosh !!!!!!!! you meet brilliant people royally fooling themselves. They will visit the temple on every occasion but refuse to let go of the duplicity in their lives. It is sad to watch them year after year trying to live in a wishful state. Anyone who lives such life with lack of integrity whether he eats the best food, lives in the best country and in a dream house will never have a peaceful sleep. They have common restlessness in spite of having the best at their disposal. Such characters are perpetually unconfident with lack peace and fulfillment in their lives. Well happiness, what is that ???

It is funny to see them give away non veg, alcohol and what not but the key weakness -  their obsession with sex that drives them to live lives they are living and pay a price through their nose that part remains unaffected. No rethinking about handling that part. They live a life of utterly selfish convenience highly compartmentalized. Worshiping the book but ignoring the word.

Selective telling, hearing and sense of justice well………. The best part I have observed with such people is they live in their make believe world and believe that everyone else would believe their make believe story. Clever guys the only people you are fooling are your selves. Wake up start living and enjoying this beautiful life TRUTHFULLY, it is really worth it!

Similarity between India and US current political situations - Our world is changing faster than we think

While India reels under the pressure of introducing a Jan Lokpal bill which has literally put the current Government with foot in their mouth in handling this crisis situation, the US debt debacle occupies the minds of international investors.Both at some level are demands of a world which is changing way too fast for the current governments to handle. 

In India the state of affairs is that the current Govt. is still using their archaic “Babuism” tactics of mitigating the effect of the protest which is growing with every passing day. Literally the situation is similar to a parent, handling a teenager, who does not realize that their son/ daughter has grown up but continues to treat them as kids. While the youth joins the Anna campaign and the nation is looking forward to more effective corruption free politicians we have the likes of Kapil Sibal who represent arrogance of power incarnate. In his address to Lokpal bill and related public addresses Sibal showcased a perfect example of politicians we the people of India are regretting voting for. We regret our choices while voting for likes of Sibal assuming education and experience might make them wise. Sibal represented what a normal minister epitomizes in our politics today that they are most divorced from the common man's sentiment living in a self created world like demi Gods. The way this govt missed the point is not funny seems its time the reigns are passed to the younger generation in Congress and overall  Indian politics and give kinds of Sibal the much deserved retirement.

US with their debt debacle has a similar political situation, has similar ask of the times where world is changing fast and power equations changing even faster than US realizes and finds time to react. The politic positions relished so far in terms of a simplistic division of just two party makeup - Republicans and Democrats is no longer relevant where one party gauges the interest of the rich and the other upholds the interests of the common man. The situation demands someone who thinks what the country needs  i.e partly to tax people and partly to cut down on paid facilities. A coalition party seems the way out and the United States needs to come to terms with it sooner than later. What is good for the growth plan and an effective debt plan for the country to retain their stature of a super power?  Times are changing fast............

Silly assumptions complex Life

A small example when we are young we get marked or graded on different subjects Maths, English, Science and so on. We cannot ascribe the marks scored in one subject to the other. One can be brilliant in Maths but an average performer in fine arts and so on. It is all a matter of interest or aptitude or both.

Why do we get confused in Life then?

IF someone passes out of an ivy league college, is brilliant in studies it is assumed  he/ she would be an ace in social conduct – we feel its “natural” to  expect him/ her to be an ace son, boyfriend, husband or father. One need not follow the other. Being good in academics and being successful in life are two different things. Being successful in Life needs much more than sheer academics which is only one of the ingredients. Academics, Career, Relationships, social conduct all are different subjects.

Accolades received in each qualify only for that respective category and cannot be assumed to give credit to other. IF I am a topper in Maths and therefore I am expected to be excellent in English is unfair.

Somewhere we need to set our expectations more fairly. Often we castigate people for being brilliant in their area of interest/ subject by expecting them to be as brilliant in Life over all. Also at times we give them undue credit of being successful in life by the virtue of their academic qualifications.

Need to have more balanced, holistic approach before setting expectations or assessing people.

My top 10 Quotable quotes

- People wrapped up in themselves make small packages - Ben Franklin
- Actions speak louder than words.
- Example is the best sermon.
- Nobody minds having something too good for them
- ' Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all - Alfred Tennyson
- No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
- Money costs many things - Emerson
- You must know when to leave a place even if you do not know where to go
- The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment.
- Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.

* all the un ascribed quotes are by anonymous writers which i did not bother to note down at times.

Meeting Donald Trump in "THINK BIG"

 More than often one comes across self proclaimed “geeks”, “geniuses” watching them closely one is not very impressed. Only their circle of friends and they themselves think the way they do. Others, well they have a different story on how these set of people look or behave or are.

Books are one's best friends. Reading helps one connect to another’s perspective. The biggest blessing is one can always turn pages and re read. Something one cannot do even while talking to a person. One really cannot rewind conversations.

The one I just finished is “Think Big” by Donald Trump & Bill Zanker. I have read quite a few books in such league but this one is most impressive. The guy has put across the right stuff the right way. The audience is everyone with or without ivy league college degrees and subject is how to make it BIG in business and life. It is for the 2% aspiring to reach the top. Also because it comes from horse’s mouth so you know he’s been there done that the advice is genuine and not a feel factor. The book is for people who are perfectionists and want to scale to the optimum. Trump puts in a structured way the various other qualities other than degrees and brains as pre requisites to making it big.  One comes across quite a few people passing out of ivy league colleges but not making it as big as they could have. Its sad to see people dole out their gold brains at the price of silver and be happy about it. The difference is their inability to think BIG. Nothing wrong with it but to those who do want to make it BIG with or without the degrees some phenomenal qualities make them grasp the moon. Not all stars shinning there followed the clichéd ivy league college education and having great brains route. They are normal people with average brains but extraordinary persistence, hard work, positive attitude and a passionate dream.Donald crisply outlines what are the ingredients that makes a success story. Do read this book if you get a chance.

Fitness Regime

Currently am soaked in the fitness regime. Started with the annual health check up which boosted the morale. Engaged in doing a research of the other gymn options on the basis of my priorities, I finally zeroed on the Gold’s gymn bidding adieu to Maximus. Since last two weeks now for this quarter its – GOLD’s. My personal favorite in terms of service and overall experience would be Talwarkers.

Well so far besides the “ fluff” and the plush environment I am yet to get impressed by their coaching. The machines and the surroundings of course are decent. It is not as spread out as one would want it to be but lets see if I achieve any results from their coaching.

In the meanwhile I find myself shifting to vegetarianism, internally I mean. Though I have not given up  eating non veg. From “healthy” stand point veggies are a better option and go a long way from calorie stand point as well.

Reading blood type based diets to quite a few other reviews am fine tuning the system to enable me lose weight effectively to meet targets in next 3 months. Lets see..watching what I eat and 5 days a week gymn should do me good. All I need to remind myself is CONSISTENCY.

Pain an integral part of living

This is my point of view and based on my own experience and feeling. The earlier one learns to accept pain as we do happiness the better. Its like two sides of the coin of Life. From childhood our brains and hearts are hardwired  with dreams about being "forever happy". As one grows old one continues aspiring for this “forever happy” state.

We try and avoid anything that we foresee would give us pain whether its developing relationships beyond a point or evolving a lifestyle where we do not have any restrictions or replacing anything or everything that threatens this state of conceptual happiness. Consequently we maintain/ manipulate everything around our ecosystem that would not disturb our “state of happiness”. We seem so scared of pain.

We see examples of people who follow this philosophy all the time but are they happy?  They should be logically most happy but NO they are not they are still yearning to be happy. They lead half fulfilled lives.

 Life is a clever dame it pays you back exactly in the same coin. If you measure your inputs then you receive measured returns. The more wholesomely you live the wholesomely life pays you back. Pain is the price one might have to pay if one loves truly and lives life wholesomely. Its better to undergo pain and accept it as part of life early because then one begins to learn to handle it. Once we are not afraid of pain then we are not afraid of living intensely and in depth in all spheres which leads to a fulfilled state. "यह आग का दरिया है डूब के निकलना है "

Celebrating Death of Ravan

Congratulations and Celebrations !!!!The inevitable happens again and again, victory of Good over Evil. As we celebrate the death of Ravan lets not forget to pick up the lessons for this is just death of the symbol, the manifestations and the seeds he has sown of the bitter fruit which will ripen in future will affect posterity. These lessons will empower us to bring such Ravans to book faster than we did this one which gives them less time to propogate their schools of thought and action.

Ravan was a super hero fighting a super power defeated because of dastardly intent but one needs to understand what constituted his heroism and assess him in an objective light. There were of course the qualities of relentless dedication to purpose, single minded resolve, courage of his convictions and an uncanny knack of strategizing his existence in the face of death that lurked around him for such a long time.

Just imagine if such Ravans were used to set up a committee and asked to make strategies to unravel more like them or our corrupt politicians they would perform much better than our regular teams. We do not have dearth of intelligence or strategists but these people have the experience of living those strategies from the other side of the table plus they are live examples of how the enemy’s mind works in a negative strain. This would be the shortest and easiest way to leverage their negative energies and convert them for positive intent I think.