Insecure people……..potholes to be avoided

WOW ! second half of the year already !

Just felt like writing about this interaction I had when I was put across one of the Indian colleagues in IBM US. She had all the qualifications anybody could muster under one’s belt – a computer engineer, MBA & PMP but the lady was holding on to her pants like nobody’s business. The call was to discuss something relating to me but she started on her life history and how she won all the accolades. She did not need to sell herself further I was sold enough therefore talking to her. One thing I realized for sure that she had a huge ego and was certainly not a people’s person. She was leading a dream life, may be better and she was wanting to hold onto it with her teeth. Gosh!!! you do not need so many degrees to be successful, to the level she was, one would be enough. May be it was a strategy to overwhelm those who get overwhelmed by degrees. Even the system at times overlooks their soft skills. This one would be a horrible people manager for sure. She had room for no one else but herself on her radar. She keeps doing what she is good at i.e studying and accumulating degrees and keeps neglecting what she is not so good at - working as a team, interacting with people. It works for her, works may be in most work cultures.

Sometimes one comes across people who try to hide their insecurities behind those degrees. The cliche to give them benefit of doubt of being bright/ intelligent and absolving them of their insensitivity and lack of soft skills is very common in the Corporate world. Such people ruin so many other lives reporting to them. Other times one comes across insecure people -  men who are always surrounded by female friends and vice- versa. They feel vulnerable in the company of male friends or the competitive spirit gets into action but some cases this is very noticeable. They always feel more comfortable among female friends. Some others always have this feeling that the other person is dominating them or trying to lead a discussion or trying to change them.

Strange - degrees, money, success nothing gives them the security they should enjoy, given an opportunity they still yearn to feel tall. They are ready to do it by making others feel small or just keep on ranting about themselves.

May be feeling secure has a different basis, may be it not related to the money you make or degrees you muster, may be it is more about how you feel about yourself, may be it is related to your own self evaluation of your integrity, may be.